Funny Societal Facets

I have no clever/mildly clever/in another language hook today. Sue me.

First, I would like to start out with a positive:

Dear Eye Doctor Receptionist Man,

Thank you for acknowledging that you really don’t know that much about Morocco, instead of trying to fake it while actually just sounding stupid. Also, you knew more than most people do.

Next: Does our society dislike honesty, at least in social situations?

It’s a question that has been bugging me recently, so I’m going to pretend that it is a veritable TOK-moment and expound on it.

The other day, I was asked (by someone that I do not know very well, but with whom I had to make polite conversation) whether or not I was enjoying my junior year of high school.

Now, I have been having a pretty stressful year. (And I had a really good sophomore year, so it isn’t as though I’m prone to terrible years.) It is the first year of IB (so I can only imagine that next year will be even better) and between schoolwork, extracurriculars, and trying to have a semblance of a social life (not to mention trying to schedule in some sleep), I’ve been a little fried.

And so, without a ridiculous amount of drama or any facial expressions or gestures, I answered that no, I haven’t had a particularly good year.

The response was a laugh. I assure you, I said nothing funny. A simple, “No, not really,” was all. And yet, my comment elicited a laugh, but not exactly a genuine one, either.

Perhaps I could have put this on the backburner, or never thought about it again, except that it happened again.

I was talking to aforementioned EDRM, and he asked if I was wanted to be fitted for contact lenses (Really? There’s such a thing as lens fittings?), and I said (again, very seriously) that no, I did not, because I truly dislike contacts, due to the stipulation that to wear them, I need to put things in my eyes.

Again, laughter, and not exactly the genuine kind.

Am I supposed to lie, here? Make light of a situation? Simply answer fine when I don’t mean that at all?

I know I’m getting a little soap-boxy here, but why? Why do we feel the need to lie about the little things? Is it in an effort to be polite?

I assume that it is. We (not the royal “we,” but the societal one) are incredibly caught up in making things quick and easy and polite.

But what is politeness really? Isn’t it a series of lies as well—to act one way when you probably wouldn’t act that way if you had your druthers?

The matter of the laughing also confused me a little. Was it a nervous laugh? And why was laughing the reaction? There was nothing amusing about my statements (and it’s not as though I have some unmentioned comedic timing; when I have humor, it is rather dry, and it does not need to be slipped in at just the right time), so the laugh must have come from some other source, and my explanation seems logical as any. I suppose the answer would become that it was a nervous laugh. This seems to lead to the idea that honesty (even in its watered-down form) was not appreciated in either case.

I just don’t get it. This would indicate that we, as a society, prefer social lies to the truth, and frankly, this baffles me. I mean, in many regions of our lives, society demands that we tell the truth. Yet here, white lies are encouraged. So why? Is it because we care that little about each other that we can’t be bothered to actually listen to each other and take the time to trouble ourselves with what other people feel? That even though individuals may care, society teaches us to be uncomfortable with these truths, so that it becomes reflex to dodge them?

And of course, this made me wonder: How often am I guilty of this same thing? Because if the people around me aren’t above it, there is no way that I am.

Either way, we are conditioned to ask (im)personal questions to fill the space and get rid of the silence (oh, don’t get me started on that as well), and we are conditioned to answer with fine or okay; anything that is quick and easy and comfortable. The laughing became a coping mechanism to cover up the awkwardness that came with receiving an answer that wasn’t looked for.

My head is now twisted around and rotating a little (not quite enough for a spin, but not stable either), and I know that I have only scratched the surface of this topic.

There is a very distinct chance that I am completely misreading people and overreacting. But somehow, I don’t think so.

In any case, I’m getting off of my soap box now.

How do I tie this to Morocco, other than the bit at the beginning with the nice EDRM? I guess I’m interested to see what the Moroccan social conventions and facets are.

Gotta keep it interesting.